My rant of the day...

I am angry…..!!!

I just got to let this out….I hate it when people sulk and blamed me for not supporting them when i have sacrificed a lot to the point where i lost all i had or was before. After that pushed me aside like i am some foul thrash.

Well, god didn’t give me something that is too much that i can’t handle.

I have been through s**t and handled it by myself. I fell and i got back up again.

I don’t bloody freaking care….now its only me time!

i am bored and have nothing better to do...


Ever felt that you are drowning sometimes? Well thats what i am feeling right now….feeling suffocated and overwhelmed.
Really trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel but as in the picture only the dark abyss.
Being the ever optimist, i believe things will get better. I just hope and pray it will be soon..

Until then i am practising patience…

art deco

Backyard butterfly…

That’s exactly where i took a photo of this butterfly…my backyard. This was taken several years ago when the backyard was still a tangled mess of weeds and shrubbery. The butterfly probably thought it was wonderland. Thank goodness there were no other creepy crawlies.
Anyways on this occasion i just bought my Panasonic Lumix digital camera and wanted to test it out. Naturally i was quite happy that i managed to take this picture…it came out alright.

old photos

Grandparents house, a potrait in watercolour…

This is a painting of my grandparents house, a place where i spent the first 19 years of my life. Sadly the house is no more and we did not have any pictures that captured the whole house.Luckily my aunt’s husband, painter Salleh Diwak had managed to do a painting of the front of the house before it fell apart.

From what i could gather from my family, this house was built, i believed in the 1800s by my late great grandfather. My grandfather was borned there in 1902 so it was a very old house.By that time my great grandfather was already in his 80s. Over the years, the house survived a fire, pillaging and shoddy repair works. I used to think that because the house was so old, if i dig deep enough i could find old treasures buried there.

There were many bittersweet memories there. I remembered my grandmother cooking over a charcoal stove,my brother and i eating many varieties of fruits from the trees that grew around the house, the 12 to 15 cats that used to run around the house, the mother hen that used to chased me..a lot! and the old framed picture of my grandfather and his violin that hung above his favourite chair.The toilet was not part of the house though.Yes,there was no indoor plumbing. The out house was about 400m away and believe me no one wanted to have a stomachache in the middle of the night.

Looking at the painting it stirs up a lot of different emotions and memories for my family and i.
On some days, we remember the joy that we had and on other days it brought out long hidden pain or heartbreak.
I am glad that someone made a painting of my grandparents house. In years to come, i am sure that we will be telling our children, grandchildren stories about the old house in the painting.


art deco

Orange Belles – watercolor painting

This painting of vibrant orange flowers is from Malaysian artist Salleh Diwak’s collection of paintings of flowers grown in the gardens of Malaysia. Painted in 2013.

Measurements: 15″ × 10.5″ without frame

About the artist:

A self taught artist, Salleh Diwak has more than 40 years experience as an artist. This includes more than 20 years experience as a graphic designer/artist for Malaysian Film Board. Over the years Salleh has participated in numerous exhibitions locally and have sold his works to privates collectors.

See more of the artist’s other paintings in my blogs;
House at the edge of paddy field in miniature watercolour painting for sale
waterfall mist miniature watercolour painting



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